joezu | Japan Trip Part 4: Japanese Bondage (Reply)

(The fourth in a five-part series about my Fall 2017 trip to Japan)

I began corresponding with Tozan-kun (not his real name) about a year ago, after having seen his pictures online, most of which had him tied up in traditional Japanese bondage and sometimes being paddled or having clothes pins attached to him. I told him I would be coming to Japan in the fall of 2017 and suggested meeting. As the date grew nearer, he suggested we make it a three-way with his BDSM Master. I said that would be fine, except I wasn't really into receiving pain. He said I should talk about it to the Master directly, so I emailed him, and he said he would be happy just to tie me up.

There are two words that refer to Japanese bondage, shibari and kinbaku. There seems to be considerable debate, among both Japanese and English speakers, as to the difference between and use of these words, but for this blog entry I shall use shibari. I don't think the Master used either term, as he spoke English to me and just called it “rope-tying”.

Tozan-kun met me at my hotel. Despite each of us being armed with dictionaries, communication was difficult. He spoke almost no English, and my Japanese listening comprehension is pretty limited. It had been far easier to communicate by email. We had lunch, then hopped on a train for the Master's town. When we arrived, the Master let us in, and after a snack and some conversation, he suggested we go to the playroom. He said he would demonstrate on Tozan-kun how to do rope-tying. I assumed shibari was highly ritualized with traditional knots and positions for the subs. The Master did say he did not consider himself an expert in shibari, just experienced in tying people up. For our sessions:

1. The Master used only one kind of knot, or a variation of it, one with which I was already familiar, plus a standard double overhand knot.

2. I learned it is possible to tie two ropes together safely to add length, as demonstrated here. This solves the issue I've often had of wondering how much rope is needed for a particular tie. I always felt like my lengths were too short or too long. Any leftover rope can be used for decorative purposes.

3. I always assumed in shibari suspension the sub was tied up first, then hauled into the air via a pulley or similar, but no. The sub is tied standing up, and the rope harness around his chest is attached tautly to the point of suspension (for example, a hook in the ceiling). The sub then stands on one leg while the other is lifted behind him and tied. Finally, the other leg is bound, then pulled up behind the sub and voilà, he is suspended!

Tozan-kun did not get fully suspended due to a recent back injury. The Master suspended only one of his legs, leaving him to stand on the other. Then it was my turn. He asked which leg I preferred to stand on, and I said my right. After affixing my rope harness to a ceiling hook, he pulled my left leg behind me and suspended it. I had told him earlier of my lower back issues and so could not be put into any position where my back was arched, so I didn't know if he was going to fully suspend me or not. He then said quickly, “One two three!” and pulled my right leg out from under me and tied it. I was now fully suspended from the ceiling. This pose did not put any stress on my back. It felt a little strange to be hanging in this fashion, but the only unpleasant feeling was a slight dizziness as I slowly spun. Finally, he released my right leg, then the other, then untied me. Tozan-kun and I got dressed and the three of us went out for dinner.

Upon our return, the Master said there was time for one more play session and he wanted to tie us side-by-side from two hooks, about four feet apart in the ceiling, without suspension. I suggested he bind us as a single unit from one hook. He blindfolded and bound Tozan-kun, then put a hood on my head and bound me as well. He then had us face each other while he tied us together. In this position, Tozan-kun and I were able to grab each others' dicks and masturbated as best we could while the Master wrapped us from foot to head in shipping plastic (sort of like Saran Wrap). I'd never been mummified but it was a pleasant feeling being bound so closely to Tozan-kun. In fact, after the Master removed the wrap, I felt a little vulnerable. He untied us, and after Tozan-kun and I took turns in the o-furo (bath), we chatted for a while, then we all turned in. The Master had laid two futon on the floor in the guest room, side by side, essentially making one large sleeping area for the two of us, then he retired to his own room. In the west, what is called a futon is like a sofa bed, whereas in Japan a futon consists of a thin mattress and a duvet, both of which can be folded and placed in a closet for storage, which allows the room to be used for other purposes during the day.

I wasn't sure how Tozan-kun felt about sharing a room with me. He had stolen a kiss in the elevator as we were heading to lunch, but he seemed more distant as the day grew. Not wanting him to feel completely left out of the conversations, I tried to speak Japanese as much as possible, but the Master always responded to me in English. Occasionally he would speak to him in Japanese, but for the most part Tozan-kun sat silently watching us. Once the lights were out, Tozan-kun and I cuddled a little, but he soon rolled over on his side, facing away from me. I guessed he wasn't interested in going further, so I too rolled over and went to sleep.

The next morning, Tozan-kun all but pounced on me, ravishing me with tremendous ardor, and rolling on top of me with his full weight. I wondered if this had anything to do with a conversation we'd had the day before while eating lunch. Tozan-kun seemed confused as to whether I was a top or bottom. I tried to explain I was primarily a top but did enjoy being restrained, either with ropes or by being pinned down. I really didn't have the vocabulary for this; the best I could do was try to compare being restrained to being pinned in wrestling. Maybe he thought I wanted to wrestle, so I went along with it. We alternated between this rigorous wrestling and a more gentle, sensuous play, then began jacking ourselves off towards a climax. However, the Master called us from the dining room to come down for breakfast. Figuring it was probably best not to keep him waiting and let our breakfast get cold, we dressed hurriedly and scampered downstairs.

After breakfast, I said we needed to get going and thanked the Master for his hospitality. Tozan-kun led the way to the station, but walked so quickly I had to jog just to keep up with him. What was the hurry, I wondered. On the train we mostly rode in silence. Between the language barrier and the very noisy train, I didn't want to try to have a conversation. Tozan-kun sat looking somewhat glum until we reached the station at my hotel and he said goodbye. Despite the play that morning, I felt bad—I felt bad that we could barely communicate, that he seemed left out of most of the conversations with the Master, and I felt my attempts to speak Japanese had disappointed him. Was the rush for the station just his desire to get this meeting over as soon as possible?

A few hours later, however, I got an email from him, in which he said he enjoyed our morning encounter tremendously, that he was glad we had become friends, that he respected my efforts to learn and speak Japanese, that he hoped we would see each other again in the future, and that he sent me his love. Needless to say, this message made me very happy.

Part 1: Fisting in Shinjuku
Part 2: Porn, Porn Everywhere!
Part 3: Going to an Onsen
Part 4: Japanese Bondage
Part 5: Miscellaneous Anecdotes