"From very small to just plain ridiculous"

2017-04-17T23:14:22Z

Mr. Toenails had just gotten back from a trip, and sent me an email saying a friend of his had bequeathed to him a rather large collection of toys. He invited me over to try them out on him. And what a collection! Mostly dildos and buttplugs of all shapes and sizes ("from very small to just plain ridiculous", said Mr. Toenails in his email), but also some pairs of handcuffs, some leather paddles, and some miscellaneous toys.

I had also learned my first practical bondage knot from this page while Mr. Toenails was out of town. I had been using plain ol' everyday knots (don't know the proper name—the kind you use to tie packages) but they were neither aesthetically pleasing nor easy to remove. The last time I tied up Mr. Toenails I had him in the face down position with his legs straddling a couple of pillows to allow easier access to his butt, but he asked if he could lie face up this time. I tied his arms in a spreadeagled position to his bedposts, then spread his legs and tied them over his head to the same posts. A sort of poor man's sling, if you will.

I was eager to try the leather paddle—it's the kind that looks like a cricket bat. Up to this point I had been using floggers and ping pong paddles, but while they certainly do sting, I've been wanting something with a bit more oomph. I've seen these paddles before and thought they might be what I was looking for. Alas, no. This paddle was much floppier than I expected, and so was difficult to control and probably delivered less punch than my bare hand. Perhaps practice makes perfect but my floggers and paddles will do just fine for now.

Anyway, I gave up on the paddle and decided to start some serious buttplay. From the collection of toys I grabbed:

1. a medium sized dildo with some rather dramatic ridges along the shaft (I have a similar one at home)
2. a medium sized buttplug
3. a large dildo but not the largest

I started with the ridged one first, which Mr. Toenails took pretty easily, and I pumped it in and out at a pretty brisk pace. I had intended next to stuff him with the buttplug and paddle his ass, but I was now more interested in seeing how wide I could stretch his hole, so I worked my fist inside. I knew from before he really likes it when I stretch his hole with the widest point of my fist, so I spent a lot of time moving in and out and rotating, which drove him wild. He wasn't quite stretched enough for me to punchfist him—something to work towards!—but I did get up to a moderate speed.

After a while, I was ready to try the large dildo on Mr. Toenails, but since it wasn't even as wide as my wrist, I figured at this point it wouldn't be much of a challenge for him. I went back to the set and grabbed the second largest dildo—definitely one of the "just plain ridiculous" ones. Not only was it slightly wider than my wrist, it also had a rather "blunt" tip on it—not tapered like a penis. I wasn't sure it would go in very easily, so I lubed it up and v-e-r-y slowly began pushing. Mr. Toenails was shifting slightly with trying to get his hole to open around that blunt tip and I was being extra careful not to cause him too much distress. Slowly it eased in—millimeter by millimeter—when suddenly, his ass just gulped down several inches of it at one fell swoop—SLURP! Once I was sure he was comfortable having that big boy in there, I began pumping in and out. Despite having a blunt "tip", it did have a "corona of glans penis" (i.e., a head) on it, and watching the head pop in and out of his asslips was pretty hot. Finally, after a while, he'd had enough and asked me to stop.

Still hope to work two fists up his very sexy butt someday!

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Joe Zu

"From very small to just plain ridiculous"